HOME l Our Sisters l Our

Edward...

“In your will is my delight”

I was raised in the faith, but I was a "Sunday Catholic". I would go to Mass for that hour on Sundays, and then do as I pleased the rest of the week. Looking back, I loved God and sincerely desired to be a good person, but I was more interested in having fun than practicing a faith I considered to be boring. In high school I had high ambitions and had my entire life planned out: I wanted to go to a prestigious university which would enable me to enter into my dream profession and where I would meet my future wife. I would then live in a nice house in the Chicago suburbs, drive a fancy car and have enough money to live comfortably. During this time I was in search of new pleasures and fixated on maintaining a nice physique and good reputation. All of this however, left me very dissatisfied and unhappy. I became all too aware of a keen desire for authentic and lasting fulfillment, unlike the hollow entertainment and passing fads the world had to offer.

Soon enough, even my future plans began to crumble one by one: I sustained various leg injuries rather than gaining an athletic scholarship; my grades didn't turn out as I had hoped and I was not able to gain entrance into any of my "dream" colleges. Up until that point, I felt that nothing had ever turned out the way I had hoped for and was utterly disappointed. I began asking and started looking for the answer to the fundamental question: What is the purpose of life?

In the fall of my freshman year at the University of Illinois, I met an Italian nun, Sister Raffaella, at the Catholic center on campus. She showed me the means by which I could find the answer to what I was looking for: meditative prayer. Through meditative prayer, Sister Raffaella taught me that it was actually possible to dialogue with God. That God truly speaks to all of us if we but learn to listen! Though it was difficult at first, with perseverance, I began to meditate daily and discovered the beauty of the personal encounter in prayer with Jesus. I soon got involved in a discernment group in order to discover what God wanted for my life. There, I learned that God has a unique plan for every person that corresponds with their authentic happiness. Thus, the key is discovering God's will for one's life and that through daily meditative prayer we can learn what that unique plan of happiness consists of. Little by little, I also began attending Mass daily and getting more involved at the Catholic center. During my sophomore year, I felt increasingly attracted to the consecrated life and priesthood and while in prayer I experienced a profound peace I never thought possible. After a Come and See experience with the Apostles of the Interior Life community in 2004, I felt that becoming 'an apostle' was God's will for my life. I have never been as happy and fulfilled as I have been since joining the community in 2005, and I view this as God's confirmation that I am on the right path and doing His will. As an Apostle of the Interior Life, I desire nothing other than the sanctification and salvation of souls by helping others discover God's plan of holiness and happiness for their life!