My Name is Joy, and I have to say that it is a distinct pleasure to know the Apostles of the Interior Life. Even though they call me “a joy,” they are my joy.
I met the Apostles during a mission they made to Holy Cross Church, Champaign, IL in the fall of 1999. Our assistant pastor was Fr. Antonio Dittmer, a young and very good priest, who just finished his studies in Rome. He met the Apostles while studying there.
The Apostles had a week-long mission in our parish, where they had presentations and small group dialogue in the evening. They also provided one-on-one spiritual direction during the day. I was not sure what spiritual direction was, but I knew somehow that I needed to make an appointment. These Italian women were so warm, loving, peaceful and joyful, I knew I would be in good hands. I did not know then, but I was in the best of hands, and my life was about to change.
I was born and raised in Connecticut into a devout and loving Catholic family – my Dad and Mom brought my sister and I to church regularly, we celebrated all the church holidays, and had a loving extended family. My grandparents were all born in Italy, so the Apostles were an immediate tie to my Italian family and culture.
My husband, Rich and I (and our then-only daughter, Kathryn) and moved to Champaign in 1991, were he had gotten a new job. We immediately started attending Holy Cross, even though we did not know which Champaign-Urbana Catholic Church was our official one. The current pastor, Fr. Mullen, made us feel right at home.
I got involved at church and Catholic ministries (like the Catholic Worker House) right away, probably because we were new to the community, and away from our families. I was faith-filled, prayerful and active, but meeting the Apostles raised the bar for my Faith. I fell more deeply in love with Christ and His Church. I fell more in love with the great gifts of the sacraments. I felt as though I was being challenged to live in a new way, to be guided by the hand of Christ himself, into a life that only He knows for me.
During the mission, I had my first Spiritual Direction with Sr. Loredana. Our talk was filled with peace and joy. My long-standing misunderstandings about some Church doctrines were cleared-up quickly and matter-of-factly. We moved effortlessly from topic to topic, as we walked around the block (I love to walk and talk). I could see that these women were in love with the Church, in love with Christ, and had a deep and full understanding of prayer and doing God’s will.
Every night of the mission held new keys to the mysteries that can be understood. The Apostles emphasized prayer everyday. And they did not just talk about it in generalities, but in specifics.
I enjoyed my talk with Sr. Loredana so much, I then made an appointment with Sr. Susan. She talked with me about prayer, and introduced one of the most wonderful series of books I have ever found: In Conversations with God, by Francis Fernandez. She showed me these small books that followed the liturgical year and guided one to right living in the day-to-day. Even amongst the dishes, family schedules, and living in a fast-paced world, these daily meditations provide much food-for-thought. The emphasis is on personal holiness, and with many examples, many quotations from Saints, writers and theologians, it is packed with good, and useful information. I bring it wherever I go, and now when I pray, I always have that or a good Catholic book with me.
I enjoyed the mission very much, and immediately made prayer time a part of my everyday life. On the days I miss my prayer time, I know it (and my family knows it). The following year, the Jubilee 2000, was filled with many graces. I started going to spiritual direction with Fr. Dittmer, and miracles of miracles, the Apostles of the Interior Life were asked to join the staff at the University of Illinois Newman Center.
Never in a million years could I have predicted that by moving to a little town in the center of the United States, I would find my spiritual home.
I am very fortunate – I am part of a vibrant and active parish, am happily married to a wonderful man, and mother to two great children. I am also fortunate that I get to see the Apostles frequently, as they now live in Champaign. The Apostles are Holy Women, and I have met many Holy people through them.
I know that my first apostolate is to be a good wife and mother, but after that, my main apostolate is to help the Apostles of the Interior Life in any way I can. I feel so fortunate to have met them. I am always challenged to be better, to learn more and to grow. I am doing things now I never thought I would – writing for the parish newsletter, leading prayer groups, getting involved with pro-life and other teaching ministries in our parish.
I even had the great fortune to go on the first spiritual pilgrimage to Italy with the Apostles in the summer of 2002, and joyfully witness the celebration of the 50th anniversary of Fr. Salvatore’s ordination, the founder of the community..
But I also know that being busy for Christ is not the aim – it is in the grace and holiness of the everyday details. It is in making decisions with my husband, in talking with and teaching my children, in interacting with everyone I meet. It is in my prayer. It is in my love for others.
I know that all this is a result of meeting the Apostles and getting closer to Christ. The Apostles bring the message of Christ’s hope, mercy and peace to all in a very humble and unassuming way. They meet with each person individually, and guide him or her to fuller holiness. I see they are fully available to everyone they meet – from a nine year old – to a college student – to an established family man – to an elder. All are treated with kindness and wisdom and tenderness. And all grow closer to Christ.
And as I enter into a new phase of my collaboration with the Apostles (Sr. Susan will now be my Spiritual Director), I am filled with peace. I know they call me their joy, but after Christ, and my family, they are my joy.