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Dear Bishop Jenky,
It is with great excitement and reflection that I write you this letter entailing my Samuel Group experience. I can measure its impact and success on my inability to place into words exactly what this year long discernment has meant to me. Helen Keller said “there are some experiences which can only be described by the inaudible language of the heart”. If I could snapshoot for you a before and after image of my own heart, I have no doubt you would witness a dramatic change. What seems most influential to me has been a realization of patience, the reassurance of pattern, and a renewed sense of purpose.
A few years back, my sophomore year of college, to be exact, I felt God asking me to take on a seemingly large amount of responsibility. This entailed two majors, a minor, and the sharing of my life with many organizations on campus. This left me feeling overwhelmed and very complicated with often endless laundry lists running through my mind. What my time in Samuel Group has taught me is the joy to be found in simplicity. I have witnessed the pleasure that comes from simply being in the Lord’s presence and have come to desire this more. I have learned how it feels to pray with my heart – lay my desires and petitions before God and ask Him to mold it to fit what He wants from me. I am still a “busy” person, but I know how it feels to not run faster than the One you are following.
In taking more time in a committed life of prayer, I have been able to see God’s presence and pattern in my own life. It always amazes me how when feeling closest to the Lord, the questionable details have a clearer meaning. Samuel Group has enabled me to reach back in my memory and see God’s guiding hand throughout my life. It is then that I find patterns and subsequent confidence to make the decisions with which I am faced.
In making moves for God, my life becomes more than a tricky chess game, it has a purpose. One of the first Samuel Group’s, Sister Raffaella told us that a life without purpose is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t lead you anywhere.
How fitting this seems in a college setting! Our daily lives are filled with trivial things with sometimes no clear meaning. When we look instead at the purpose, we realize how even the smallest task can be made great when done with God’s love.
I thank God so much for such a special experience and I thank the people at St. John’s and the Peoria Diocese for answering the needs of so many students. I am encouraged to see what these well-equipped individuals are able to bring to the world as I know my experience is not unique. Knowing God can bring greater joy than ever imaginable and it is through this experience my love has increased and leaves me unable to fully express that which I feel with my heart.
With Christ’s love,
Laurey
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