To the Most Revered Bishop Daniel Jenky,

    In writing this letter it is my intention to tell you of the good work continually being done in your diocese at the University of Illinois Newman Center. Here at the Newman Center, the Apostles of the Interior Life have sponsored their third Samuel Group in which I was immensely privileged to take part. Throughout this year of prayer, reflection, and scrutiny, I have come to find God in my life, ironically, in what I thought subconsciously to be the unlikeliest of places.

    I suppose that I had always assumed that what God wanted for me had necessarily to entail some incredibly arduous task or denial of self such as becoming a missionary to peoples of remote parts of the world or taking vows of celibacy or poverty. The possibilities that God was calling me to be a priest and of leaving a well-established and wonderful relationship with my girlfriend of five years seemed to me to be God’s will for my life. That was one year ago. In one year’s time, with the help of the spiritual direction of Father Tom Holloway and of the spiritual exercises in Samuel Group, I have come to a greater clarity and internal peace about my future.

As a result, I no longer feel that the priesthood is my vocation. I have discerned that God is calling me to the married life and as an act of concrete commitment to this state of life, I have asked my girlfriend of now six years to marry me on the 29^th of this May. It appears that I have come full circle. In attempting to look away from the current circumstances of my life in search of God, I ultimately found Him right where I started. He was not calling me to break my relationship, but to sanctify and to purify it for His sake.

In keeping with this same spirit – of finding God’s will for my life in sanctifying my current circumstances and desires – I have found that the professional vocation to which I am called is possibly different than the one for which I have currently prepared. While student teaching this semester in the Chicago Public School system, I gradually realized that my reasons for choosing to teach in such a context were not sufficient to justify my being there. I chose education because I saw it as an important and meaningful way in which to serve society. I was again unawarely searching for a vocation that must necessarily be hard and different from the work that I already enjoy doing.

    As John Eldridge writes in Wild at heart, a book given to me by a good friend and FOCUS staff member, “Instead of asking what you think you ought to do to become a better man, I want to ask “What makes you come alive?” It has taken me twelve weeks of student teaching to realize that teaching at the middle school and high school levels is not what makes me come alive. In searching for the vocation to which God calls me, I believe I have found it in what I am most consistently impassioned: learning about Him. With this knowledge of discernment, I have not yet made any concrete plans. I do know at this point however, that it would greatly please me to serve God by continuing my education in a graduate program in theology with the intent of teaching at the university level.

Most Reverend Bishop Jenky, I thank you whole-heartedly for the opportunity to participate in a group such as Samuel Group. My appreciation for the Apostles of the Interior Life and the staff at the University of Illinois Newman Center is tremendous. They have helped me to unlock the key to perfect happiness and perfect consistent truth in my life. It is with this knowledge that I will graduate this May and continue to pursue holiness with all of my daily efforts.

Most sincerely,

Nathan